


Starting Over

by josiesbar



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Post-Defenders, Reunions, karedevil - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-05 11:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15862290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiesbar/pseuds/josiesbar
Summary: Karen has been trying to deal with all the loss in her life and keep Fisk from getting out of prison, but everything changes when she finds out Matt is alive.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a post-Defenders fic I have been working on for awhile. The first few chapters will be pretty angsty, but there will be some happier moments later. Thank you for reading!

Karen stared at her screen, willing something useful to appear.

She had been investigating Fisk for months, looking everywhere she could to find evidence that would definitely keep him behind bars.

She, Matt, and Foggy had worked so hard to put him away. Ben had given his life. And it might all have been for nothing if Fisk got out.

And there would be no Daredevil this time to make sure he was put away again. Karen felt the familiar constriction in her chest, but she didn’t have time to cry over Matt’s death again. She had to find a way to make sure Fisk didn’t get out.

Her phone rang. Time to get back to the story she was supposed to be working on. She wished she could spend all her time working to dig up evidence on Fisk, but that wasn’t what she was being paid for. She had a court case to cover tomorrow, and she needed to do research on it.

It was a corporate executive on trial for fraud. And Foggy was defending him.

Karen tried to imagine Nelson and Murdock taking a case like this, but it was the exact opposite of everything they had stood for. Instead, Foggy was now defending the rich guy screwing over regular people. All for a bigger paycheck and a corner office.

She knew that thought wasn’t fair to Foggy. After all,Nelson and Murdock might still be around if it hadn’t been for Matt’s lies. If everything had happened differently, would Matt still be alive? Karen shook her head. No point in thinking like that. She had always spent too much time living in the past.

Still, did Foggy really have to take cases like this? Was he still the same Foggy she had known before, or had he changed?

It was hard to say because they didn’t talk much anymore.

Karen knew that her bringing up Matt so much had been hard on Foggy, especially when she kept wondering if there was any chance he could be alive. Foggy kept telling her that she needed to move past the denial step of the grieving process.

Karen had never been good at that, though. In many ways, she had never really let go of her brother even though he died so many years ago. It had been even harder to accept Matt’s death since his body had never been found.

Foggy, on the other hand, had moved on with his life. He was trying to move up with his firm, and he was considering moving in with Marci. Karen knew that it would be better if she was able to do that too, but moving on was not her strong suit.

Karen was startled out of her thoughts by a knock on her door. Ellison walked into her office.

“Karen, are you ready to cover that trial tomorrow?” Ellison said.

Karen looked down at her notes. “Yes, I’ve just been getting everything ready.”

Ellison crossed his arms. “So you’re sure that you’re up to covering this trial objectively? It won’t be a problem for you that your friend is the defense lawyer?”

Karen frowned. “Of course I’m up to it. I’ve covered trials with my friends as lawyers before.”

“Yes, but that was one trial that wasn’t nearly as high profile,” Ellison said.

“Ellison, I will be fine. In fact, I will be more than fine. I’ll do a great job covering this trial.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Ellison said. “I expect a story on the opening arguments by 7 tomorrow.”

“You got it, boss,” Karen said.

She was so tired by the time she finished getting everything ready for the trial that she didn’t feel up to digging anymore on Fisk. Not that she would find anything anyway.

As Karen walked home, she went by Josie’s and thought about all the times that she, Foggy, and Matt had gone there after a long day of work. She loved being a reporter and really felt that it was what she was meant to do, but she really missed her friends.

Just then, Karen felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck, like somebody was watching her. She looked around but didn’t see anybody. It hadn’t been the first time she had felt that way recently, either. Still, she figured she was probably just being paranoid. Probably too much time looking into Fisk.

She shook her head and walked briskly the rest of the way home. She probably just needed some sleep. She had had another nightmare about Wesley last night and had trouble getting back to sleep. Knowing that Fisk could be getting out had brought Wesley right back into her head. Sometimes she killed him again, sometimes he killed her instead, and other times Fisk showed up.

Karen took another look at her notes and then headed to bed early since she would have a long day the next day. It took her awhile to get to sleep.

_She was back in the warehouse. She had just killed Wesley again. She was sitting with her hands still on the gun, frozen in place._

_“Did you really think you could get away with this, Miss Page?”_

_Fisk had appeared out of nowhere and was walking toward her. Karen couldn’t move. She could only sit there, staring at Wesley soaked in blood and Fisk slowly walking toward her._

_“I had to do it,” Karen said. “I was defending myself.”_

_“Really, Miss Page? You had to do it? You had to shoot Wesley six times? You had to throw the gun in the river? Those are the actions of a killer.”_

_Karen shook her head. “No, I’m not a killer. It won’t happen again. It was self-defense.”_

_Now Fisk was behind her. “You keep telling yourself that, Miss Page.”_

_Now his hands were around her throat and she still couldn’t move. She was struggling to breathe._

Karen woke up in her bedroom, her heart pounding. She had had a period after Fisk had gone to prison where the nightmares were coming less frequently, but now they were just getting worse.

She sighed and looked at the clock: 3:15 am. She eventually fell back into a restless sleep, but when her alarm went off the next morning, she didn’t feel rested at all.

Karen stared in the mirror. She covered up the dark circles under her eyes with makeup. Was she ever going to be able to move past what she did? It was so hard to put everything behind her when Fisk was still a threat.

Karen finished getting ready and made sure she had her notes in her bag. She had a feeling today would be a hard day. She would have to watch Foggy defend a rich bastard who was hurting people.

Still, this was her job. She picked up her bag and headed out the door to cover the trial.

 

* * *

Karen sat in the courtroom by the other reporters. This was going to be a big case. She supposed she should be happy for Foggy that Hogarth was entrusting him with a case this big.

But Karen just couldn’t be happy watching Foggy defend a guy like this. She just kept thinking about all of the struggling people who were helped by Nelson and Murdock. She wondered if Ellison might have been right in thinking this case would be hard for her to cover objectively.

Still, she wanted to believe she could be a professional and do a good job covering this. Covering the courts was part of her job,and she didn’t want to have to avoid covering big cases just because Foggy was the defense attorney.

Foggy was talking to his client, who was wearing a clearly very expensive suit. Of course, she noticed Foggy’s suits were more expensive now, too. Those bigger paychecks paid off.

She felt like she could be happier for Foggy if he was just defending better clients. But why did he have to defend dickheads like this guy?

After all, Foggy was a fantastic lawyer, and he showed that again with an excellent opening statement. She hoped that Hogarth at least appreciated him.

She was working on her notes in the hallway and was actually a bit surprised when Foggy walked up to her.

“Hey Karen.”

“Hey Foggy.”

Things were so awkward between them now. She really missed the way things used to be.

“So...did you want to get some lunch?”

Karen smiled. “Sure, I’d like that.”

“Great. I just have a few things to wrap up here first,” Foggy said.

It would be nice to have a real conversation with Foggy. It felt like it had been such a long time since they really talked.

They met at a diner near the courthouse.

“The club sandwich here is really good,” Foggy said.

“Thanks for the recommendation,” Karen said. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Yeah, it’s convenient, and they’re pretty fast. Plus, the food isn’t bad.”

Karen followed Foggy’s recommendation and ordered the club sandwich.

“So, how have you been?” Karen asked.

“Good. Busy. Lots of cases to work on. Even busier since Hogarth started her own firm.”

“I’m sure,” Karen said. “How are you liking it?”

“I like it,” Foggy said. “It’s nice and challenging. I never get bored.”

Still, Karen noticed a difference in Foggy. He was always more relaxed when he was at Nelson and Murdock, even when things weren’t going so well. Now he seemed a bit stiffer. Maybe it was just the Armani suits.

“What about you?” Foggy said. “How are things going at the Bulletin? I always try to make sure I read your stories.”

Karen smiled. “I appreciate that, Foggy. Thank you. Things are good. I always have a lot to work on.”

She was tempted to mention Fisk but held off. If Fisk wasn’t on the forefront of Foggy’s mind, she wasn’t sure she should put him there.

“Foggy...do you miss the cases that you guys used to take on at Nelson and Murdock? You know, helping the little guy?”

Foggy sighed. “Of course I do, Karen. I still do some of that now.”

“Yeah, but you also help corporate dickheads.”

Karen bit her lip. That had come out harsher than she had intended.

Foggy frowned. “Look, Karen, I don’t like doing that, but it’s part of being a lawyer. Everyone has a right to a defense.”

“Yeah, but you were able to just represent the good people of Hell’s Kitchen at Nelson and Murdock.”

“What do you want me to say, Karen? Nelson and Murdock was Matt’s dream, and yet I ended up doing most of the work. And now he’s gone.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. “I know that,” Karen said quietly.

Foggy sighed. “Karen, I miss Matt. I wish more than anything that he were still here. But I’ve worked on moving forward with my life, and I think it would help you to do the same. Living in the past doesn’t help.”

Karen knew that he was probably right. She had so much trouble letting go. Still, though, there was this part of her that just couldn’t. They had never found Matt’s body, at least as far as she knew, and it was hard for her to not think there was just a tiny bit of hope that he was still alive.

They were quiet for a bit as they finished their food.

“You know, I miss hanging out with you, Foggy. We need to do this more often. I promise not to lecture you next time.”

Foggy smiled as he got up from the table. “Yes, we will definitely do this more. Take care of yourself, Karen.”

Karen gave Foggy a hug. “You too.”

When Karen got home, she went straight to the St. Patrick’s Day picture of her, Matt, and Foggy.

That had been such a great evening. Tears came to her eyes as she thought about all the great times they had together at Josie’s.

She pulled the box of Matt’s things out of her closet. She knew she should just donate his clothes, cane, and glasses to charity, but there had still been a part of her that thought he might be alive. That hope was fading, though. After all, he would have contacted her and Foggy by now if he had survived, right?

Karen picked up the Nelson and Murdock sign. As much as she loved her job at the Bulletin, she missed working with Matt and Foggy.

Below that sign were a stack of articles written by Ben. She wasn’t sure she would ever stop feeling guilty about his death.

Then she picked up the box next to it, a box she hadn’t opened in a long time. Tears rolled down Karen’s face as she looked at pictures of her brother. She picked up her brother’s favorite baseball hat and the rubik’s cube he was so good at solving.

She kept so many things from the people she had lost, almost as if she was trying to keep them alive in some way.

She knew Foggy was right that she needed to find a way to let go. She thought about the funerals she had been to at Matt’s church. Maybe going to his church would help her say goodbye. Although she wasn’t sure she believed in God, she knew that Matt did, and maybe Father Lantom would have some helpful words for her.

It was a sunny day, which somehow just seemed wrong for her mood. She paused for a moment in front of the church. The last time she had been here, she had been lighting a candle for Matt not long after his death.

The church was quiet as Karen walked in. She walked up to the front and lit a candle just like she always did when she came here.

She sat in the third pew, thinking about the funerals she had been to here. Too many. Too much death. She was so tired of losing people she cared about.

The sound of footsteps interrupted Karen’s thoughts. Father Lantom sat next to her on the pew.

They sat in silence for a few moments.

“I was just thinking about all the people I’ve lost, “ Karen said.

“Sometimes we only think people are gone,” Father Lantom said.

“Because they’re in heaven?”

Karen liked to think the people she had lost were in a better place, but she wasn’t really sure what she believed.

“Yes, but that’s not what I’m referring to,” he said, getting up. “I have something to show you.”

Karen frowned. What could he be referring to? She followed Father Lantom to a back room. There was a latte machine and...

Karen gasped, bringing her hand up to her mouth.

“Matt?” Her voice came out in a whisper.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been editing and re-editing this chapter, so hopefully it’s not too bad. Thank you for reading!

For weeks after everything that had happened at Midland Circle, Karen had held out hope that Matt had been alive, particularly when his body was never found. As weeks and months passed, though, that hope had faded.

Yet here he was standing in front of her. Karen just stood there for several moments, unable to speak.

“Hi, Karen,” Matt said softly as he took a few steps toward her.

“How...how are...you’re alive.”

Karen’s eyes were filling with tears. Matt was alive. He was really alive. She ran toward Matt and threw her arms around him. Karen didn’t even know how long they stood there hugging each other.

“I’ve missed you,” Matt whispered.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

Karen never wanted to let him go in case he vanished and this all turned out to be another dream.

When she finally pulled away, though, Matt was still standing in front of her.

“Matt, how are you alive?”

“You know, I’m not really sure,” Matt said. “The last thing I remember, the building was coming down on us. Electra must have pulled me out of there somehow, but she just dropped me off at the convent and left, so I couldn’t ask her what happened. I don't know where she went. I woke up at the convent about a week later.”

“Wait.. so you’ve been at a convent this whole time?”

“Yeah, well almost the whole time. It took me quite awhile to recover. I got back to Hell’s Kitchen a couple of weeks ago.”

Karen frowned. “Wait...you’ve been awake for months. What, you couldn’t pick up a phone and let me know you’re alive? And what about Foggy? Have you told him you’re alive?”

“No, I haven’t told Foggy I’m alive. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, Karen. I thought it would be safer for you and Foggy if everyone thought I was dead until I made sure that Fisk stays behind bars.”

Karen just shook her head. “How is it safer for us to think you’re dead?”

“Well, considering how angry Fisk was when I visited him in prison, I thought he would just be even more likely to try to hurt you and Foggy if he knew I was around, and I thought I might be more effective if he still thought I was dead. I didn’t want you and Foggy to have to keep yet another secret. Plus...” Matt trailed off.

“What?”

“Well, I thought maybe you and Foggy would be better off without me.”

Karen sighed. “Oh, Matt. Why do you have to be such a martyr?”

Matt gave a small smile. “You’re not the first person to complain that I’m being a martyr."

Karen crossed her arms and walked away from Matt before turning back toward him. "I just can't believe you spent months letting me and Foggy think you were dead, Matt. Do you have any idea what that was like? We had a memorial service for you. Well, the few of us who knew what really happened at Midland Circle did. With everyone else, we had to act like you just left town and were still out there somewhere. On the other hand, I guess that was true. You were alive. You just weren't telling any of us."

"Karen...I'm really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you or Foggy." 

Karen just nodded. “Well, now you need to tell Foggy. He deserves to know you’re alive.”

“I will tell him soon. I promise. Just...not yet. I’m telling you now because you’re already investigating Fisk. Foggy isn’t, and I don’t want to get him involved unless I have to. Fisk specifically threatened Foggy when I talked to him in prison. Will you agree not to tell him, just for now, Karen?”

"Seriously? You want me to keep the fact that you're alive from your best friend?"

"I know, it's horrible, and it won't be for long. I promise. I just need to get a better handle on what Fisk is up to."

Karen sighed. “Fine. But I know from experience how much it sucks to be the one in the dark. You need to tell him soon.”

“I will," Matt said. They were silent for a few moments. "So...how have you been?”

Karen shrugged. “I’ve been okay, I guess, other than worrying about Fisk.”

Matt nodded. “I’m sorry you still have to worry about him. That should all be over, and it isn’t.”

“Well, we just need to find a way to keep Fisk in prison permanently,” Karen said.

“We will,” Matt said. “Do you want to meet tomorrow and go over everything you have on Fisk?”

Karen nodded. “Sure. You can come by my apartment around 6. I’ll pick up some dinner. Where are you staying? There’s someone else living in your apartment now.”

“Yeah, I know,” Matt said, frowning. “Father Lantom managed to get me a small place to stay temporarily. I’m still hoping the new tenant decides that billboard is too horrible and moves out.”

“That won’t do you much good if you’re not making any money,” Karen said. “Are you planning to get back into law?”

“Of course,” Matt said. “Once we make sure Fisk stays behind bars, I’ll get back to being a lawyer again. I miss it. I just can’t quite be Matt Murdock again publicly yet.”

Karen nodded and got up to put on her coat. Before she left, though, she gave Matt another long hug.

“I’m really glad you’re alive, Matt,” Karen said softly before she pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tears came to Karen’s eyes as she walked out the door. She leaned against the church for a moment, overcome with emotion. Matt was really alive.

Still, as happy as she was that he was alive, she felt a knot in her stomach as she remembered her promise to herself.

She has told herself that if Matt turned out to be alive, she would tell him the truth—the whole truth, about all of the things she had done.

She needed to tell Matt that she had killed Wesley.

How would he react to that? She had always been scared that he would judge her harshly for it, that he might even not want anything to do with her. A part of her wanted to keep lying to him.

But she couldn’t. Matt had told her his secret, and now it was time for her to tell him hers. Besides, it might be important. After all, what if Fisk found out somehow? No matter what they did, he might still get out of prison. That idea made her sick to her stomach, and she knew the best way to keep Fisk behind bars was to work together.

And to do that, they needed to be truly honest with each other. Karen took a deep breath and calmed herself down. She still had work to get done today. As she walked back toward her apartment, she ran through a list of the things she needed to get done. She needed to get everything ready for tomorrow to tell Matt what she found on Fisk.

And she had to get herself ready to finally tell Matt the truth.

* * *

Karen stared at her screen, trying to focus. She was trying to get a little work in on an upcoming story she was working on before heading to cover the trial. But she just couldn’t pay attention to what she was doing. All she could think about was the fact Matt was really alive. 

When she had woken up that morning, she had wondered if it was all just a dream. She was still wondering that. Part of her wasn’t sure if Matt would really show up for dinner that evening.

Another part of her was sure he’d show up but nervous about their upcoming conversation. How would he react when she told him the truth about her? She kept picturing him judging her and telling her he wanted nothing to do with her. Just getting him back only to lose him yet again.

Before she would have that conversation with Matt, though, she had another thing she was dreading: continuing to cover the trial Foggy was working on. And now she wasn’t just dreading it because she hated watching Foggy defend a rich scumbag.

She would have to see Foggy and not tell him that his best friend was still alive. How was she supposed to do that? She hated lying to Foggy, especially about Matt. Of course, Foggy had had to lie to her about Matt being Daredevil for months, and now the shoe was on the other foot. She was not looking forward to this.

She looked at the time. She had gotten nothing done on this story, but it was time to go. She sighed and grabbed her coat and her bag.

As Karen walked into the courtroom, she overhead a group of people talking about Fisk.

“Can you believe he might be getting out already?”

“Yeah, well, considering who he is, that shouldn’t be a surprise…”

Word was getting around about Fisk. Karen could only hope that she and Matt could find a way to keep him behind bars, or, failing that, to get him back behind bars as quickly as possible. It was so hard to believe that Ben’s murderer might soon just be out walking around like he hadn’t done anything that bad.

Karen was scowling as she walked into the courtroom. She hated feeling so helpless. How could horrible people get away with so much just because they had money?

Speaking of people who might get away with doing horrible things because they’re rich, Foggy’s client walked into the courtroom, looking perfectly calm, like he was aware he was going to be off on a yacht a month from now instead of in prison where he belonged.

And Foggy was helping him.

This time, though, Marci was doing the questioning. Karen had to admit she was a good lawyer even if she hated that Foggy and Marci were defending this guy.

Karen took notes and tried not to think about having to lie to Foggy later. Of course, maybe she wouldn’t even end up talking to him at all. Foggy and Marci might just take off together after the day’s proceedings were over. Normally, that would annoy her a bit, but today she would actually be a bit relieved if she could avoid having to lie to Foggy about Matt.

Karen felt like the day was going by so much faster than usual. Isn’t that always the way days go when there’s something to dread coming up?

Although Foggy and Marci did indeed hustle out of the courtroom at lunch, they caught up to her at the end of the day.

“Hey Karen,” Foggy said. “Can we talk?”

Why did he have to want to talk now?

“Sure,” Karen said. “Hi Marci.”

“Hi Karen,” Marci said. She turned to Foggy. “I’ll see you outside in a few minutes.”

Foggy and Karen sat down on a bench in the slowly emptying hallway.

“Karen, I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry about what I said. About telling you you had to move on. It’s not that I don’t think about Matt. It’s just hard, you know?”

“Yeah it is,” Karen said, feeling very uncomfortable.

“Anyway, I meant it when I said we should hang out more. I feel like I haven’t been the best friend to you. I’m so bad at keeping in touch. You can ask Marci. I’ve gone months without calling her before.”

“To be fair, I haven’t been the best at keeping in touch with you either, Foggy.”

“So we both suck at keeping in touch. No wonder we’ve barely talked to each other lately.”

“Well, we should definitely change that.”

“Yes we should. Maybe we should set up a weekly night at Josie’s. How about Friday?”

Karen smiled. “Sounds like a plan. I will see you on Friday at Josie’s then.”

As Karen walked home, she wondered how long she would have to keep Matt’s secret from Foggy. How could she not tell him that his best friend was still alive?

She looked up at the buildings as she walked. Matt was probably out somewhere being a hero right now. And hopefully he would survive the night. She was never going to not worry about him, especially after spending months thinking he was dead.

She walked into her apartment, realizing that tomorrow Matt was going to be here. It occurred to her that Matt had never been in this particular apartment before. She had moved into it after she had gotten the job at the newspaper.

Thankfully, nobody had ever broken into this apartment. At least not yet. She hoped that would continue to be the case. She felt safer here considering nobody had broken in and bashed her head against a wall or shot at her or kidnapped her.

Karen sighed. It was almost ridiculous, all of the horrible things that had happened to her in such a short time. Usually people went their whole lives never being shot at or kidnapped.

Karen poured herself a drink. Did she deserve the terrible things that happened to her? Sometimes she felt like she did.

And tonight, she would tell Matt the truth about the things she had done. What would he think of her? Well, she would find out soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Karen had struggled to focus at work all day. She had spent most of the day worrying about telling Matt that she had killed Wesley.

Sometimes Karen could almost fool herself into thinking it was all a bad dream. After all, nobody ever reported Wesley as dead. She heard nothing about it. When Detective Hoffman was talking about everything Fisk had done, he talked about Wesley as if he were still alive. Of course for all he knew, he was.

Since nobody talked about Wesley’s death, maybe it had never even happened. Maybe it had all just been a nightmare. Maybe when Karen looked in the mirror, she wasn’t seeing a killer after all.

But Karen knew better than that. And Fisk surely was aware that Wesley was dead, even if he didn’t know who pulled the trigger.

Once Karen got home, she paced back and forth in her apartment, thinking about the different ways Matt might react to her telling him that she killed Wesley. What if he wanted nothing to do with her after that?

Karen shook her head. She shouldn't think like that. It didn’t do her any good. However Matt reacted, she needed to finally get this over with. She needed to tell him the truth.

Karen was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped when she heard the buzzer. Matt was here. She went over and let him in, still pacing as he came up to her apartment.

When he knocked on her door, she took a deep breath before she opened it. Time to get this over with.

Karen put a smile on her face as she opened the door, mostly to make herself feel more brave, but the smile became genuine as she actually saw him standing there. She still couldn’t believe he was alive.

“Hey Karen,” Matt said.

“Hey,” Karen said. “Come in.”

She stood aside to let Matt in.

Matt walked through Karen’s apartment, running his hand over the couch. “You have a nice apartment. It has a lot more space. How do you like it?”

Karen realized that Matt had never been in this apartment before. “I love it. It’s the first place that’s really felt like home in quite awhile.”

“I’m glad you feel at home here,” Matt said.

They stood in silence for a few moments.

“Would you like a beer?” Karen asked.

“That would be great. Thanks.”

Karen walked quickly over to the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. She could certainly use a drink.

She pulled the caps off and handed one to Matt.

“Thank you,” he said with a smile.

That smile was still so disarming to her. Karen cleared her throat.

“You’re welcome.”

They sat down on the couch, and Karen took a large sip of her beer. It was now or never.

“Matt, there’s something I’ve never told you.”

Karen took a deep breath, more nervous than ever. Matt put a hand on her arm, apparently sensing her nervousness. “Karen, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“Matt, do you remember back in those first months at Nelson and Murdock? You and Foggy were fighting, and I was worried that Nelson and Murdock was over. I think it was just after he found out you were Daredevil.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I could forget that,” Matt said sadly.

“Well, after I came to talk to you and gave you that balloon…”

“The one with the monkey on it,” Matt said with a smile.

Karen couldn’t help but smile back for a moment, nearly forgetting what she was telling him. But it quickly came back to her. “Yes. Well, I saw Foggy at Josie’s that night. Then I headed home…but I never made it inside.”

Matt frowned. “What do you mean?”

“When I got back to my apartment, I was reaching for my keys and someone grabbed me from behind and drugged me. I woke up in a warehouse, and Wesley was there.”

Karen hesitated for a moment. It was so hard to say all of this out loud.

Matt put a hand on her shoulder. “What happened?”

Karen took a deep breath and started telling the rest of the story. Once she began talking, it all came flooding out. Not only did she tell Matt about Wesley, she told him about her past, what happened to her brother, everything.

Matt had just listened throughout. After Karen had told him the whole truth, tears started to flow down her face.

Matt wrapped his arms around her, and Karen cried on his shoulder for what felt like hours.

“It’s okay,” Matt whispered.

Finally, Karen looked up, and Matt wiped away a tear.

“You don’t think I’m a horrible person?” Karen was so afraid of the answer.

But Matt just shook his head. “No, Karen, of course I don’t think you’re a horrible person. You’re human, that’s all. People make mistakes.”

Karen sniffled. “I’ve made some big ones.”

“So have I,” Matt said.

Karen managed a small smile. “So, I guess we should talk about Fisk.” Her voice still sounded a little choked up.

“Only if you’re feeling up to it.”

Karen straightened up and cleared her throat. “I am.”

She picked up her notes, and they spent the next two hours going over everything she had gathered on Fisk. She had photocopies of old articles she thought were related to Fisk’s rise, a list of everyone who had gotten out of Rikers since Fisk had been in there, and old interviews and notes from Ben with people who might have interacted with Fisk. She had made notes on any connections she had made and suspicions she had of others who might be working with Fisk.

“Wow. You are really good at digging, Karen.”

Karen gave a small smile. “Thank you. Sadly, despite all this research, I still don’t have what it takes to put Fisk away for good. Or, at least, I don’t think I do.”

“Maybe you do and just don’t know it yet.”

“Maybe.”

“Either way, we are going to find a way to keep him in prison where he belongs.”

“Yes, we will,” Karen said, wishing she could feel more confident.

“So, when did you find time to do all this research? You seem to have at least one or two stories in the Bulletin every day.”

Karen shrugged. “This is what I’ve been doing during my spare time.”

“So…no boyfriend taking up your time?”

Karen wasn’t sure how Matt felt about her now, but she thought he seemed a little apprehensive as he asked that question.

Karen shook her head. “I haven’t had much luck dating in New York. Any relationships I’ve been in have been with guys I already knew. I tried a dating app when I first got here, and I had some unbelievably bad dates. One guy got in a bar fight with his ex’s new boyfriend right in front of me. And that was one of my better dates from that app, believe it or not.”

Matt cringed. “I can’t say I’ve ever tried a dating app. I’m not sure I want to.”

“My experiences haven’t been pleasant. I haven’t really had many good dates since I got to New York. Well, other than my date with you,” Karen said, blushing, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible. “You know, Matt, I think Foggy would really like to be doing this with us. We all worked together to bring Fisk down the first time.”

Matt sighed. “I don’t want to put Foggy in any more danger than he’s already in, Karen.”

“Is that the reason you don’t want to tell him you’re alive, or is it because you’re worried about how he’ll react? I mean, I’m sure he’ll be upset that you didn’t tell him earlier, but he’ll be so happy that his best friend is alive. He’s really missed you, Matt.”

“Foggy has enough on his plate,” Matt insisted. “I’ll tell him soon, though.”

Karen nodded. “Well, I’m guessing you have your own information gathering to do. And you need to tell me whatever information you get, too, Matt. It makes a lot more sense for us to work together than separately.”

“I know,” Matt said, getting up. “I will.”

“And think about what I said about Foggy. And…thank you.”

“For what?” Matt asked.

“For listening to me. I just…I was worried that you might be upset about Wesley, about my past…so thank you for being understanding.”

Matt walked back over and and put a hand on Karen’s shoulder. “Karen, I want you to know that you can tell me anything, okay? How about we make a pact to be honest with each other from now on?”

Karen nodded, tears threatening to come to her eyes again. “Deal.”

Karen got up from the couch and wrapped her arms around Matt. It felt good to be able to hug him again. They stood there like that for quite awhile.Finally, Karen pulled away.

“You should get going.”

Matt nodded. “Do you want to meet again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we can go over everything we have each day together.”

After Matt left, Karen sat down, feeling relieved that telling the truth had gone so well. She hoped they would be able to keep doing it. Not an easy thing for two people who were so used to keeping secrets.

Karen went to bed, but had trouble sleeping. It was hard for her not to worry about Matt out there, especially when she had spent so much time thinking he was dead after Midland Circle. Eventually she drifted off to sleep, hoping that Matt made it back safely.


	4. Chapter 4

Karen and Matt had been continuing to go over Karen’s research and the intel that Daredevil had gotten beating up thugs for the past few days, but they still had nothing that would help them ensure Fisk would stay in prison for good.

One evening, Karen made homemade hot chocolate in honor of the first snow of the season. When Matt came over to talk about Fisk, she gave him a mug of it.

“My grandma used to make this whenever it snowed,” Karen said. “It’s a lot more work than just putting in a Swiss Miss packet, but I think it tastes a lot better, too.”

Matt took a sip. “Mmmm…this is delicious, Karen.”

Karen smiled. “I’m glad you like it. I didn’t think you liked hot chocolate.”

Matt frowned. “Really? Why not?”

“Well, one time I brought it to the office, and I brought some for both you and Foggy. You weren’t there, and Foggy told me you hated hot chocolate so I should just give your mug to him. I take it he was lying about that?”

Matt laughed. “Yeah, I’ll have to tell Foggy he owes me a mug of hot chocolate.”

“You can tell that to him when you talk to him,” Karen said, taking a few sips of hot chocolate. “When are you going to tell him you’re alive, Matt?”

Matt sighed. “I’m just afraid I’ll put him in more danger.”

“Matt, we’re already all in danger. We all helped put Fisk away. He’s going to want revenge on all of us. You really need to tell him soon, Matt. Maybe he’ll be able to find something that we’re missing on Fisk. We’ve gone over all the same stuff so many times that we can use a different perspective.”

Matt looked thoughtful.”Yeah, you have a point.”

“Plus, wouldn’t it be nice for the three of us to be working together again, even if there’s no Nelson and Murdock anymore?”

Matt nodded. “Alright. I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

Karen could tell Matt was nervous about telling Foggy he was alive, but she knew Foggy would be so happy to have his best friend back, even if he was upset Matt hadn’t told him a long time ago.

“You know, as much as I love being a reporter, I miss working with you guys,” Karen said. “There’s something special about working with close friends.”

Matt gave a sad smile. “Yeah, there is. It’s too bad I screwed it up. I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that. And for the way I hurt you. You know how sorry I am, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Karen said softly. “Time has helped with that a bit, but I can’t say it doesn’t still hurt.”

“I’m so sorry, Karen. For the lies…for everything.”

Karen nodded. There was something else she needed to ask, but she was hesitant. She was still afraid of what she would hear. “Matt? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, you can ask me anything,” Matt said.

“Elektra…” Karen saw him stiffen a bit at the mention of her name. “You said you didn’t know where she went, right?”

“Yeah, I have no idea where she is.”

“Do you think that, after we make sure that Fiskstays behind bars… do you think you’ll want to go and find her?”

Matt shook his head. “No. I think Elektra has her own journey she has to go on. She’s not the same person, after the Hand brought her back. I wanted to believe that she was, but she’s not. I don’t know if I’ll see her again.”

Karen nodded. “Do you…still have feelings for her?”

Matt was quiet for a few moments before he spoke. “I think…she was my first love, so I think I’ll always love her in a way, but it will never be like it was in college. I would help her if she really needed it, but the woman they brought back isn’t the Elektra I fell in love with all those years ago. And even if she were, I wouldn’t go there again. That’s over.I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you, or Foggy, about Elektra, Karen. I guess I was just confused, but I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I’m not confused anymore.”

Karen nodded. “Do you think she’ll show up in New York again?”

“I’m not sure,” Matt said. “The last time she came here, it was actually because Stick told her to, and Stick…”

Matt turned away, unable to finish the sentence. Karen put her hand on his shoulder. Danny had told her that Elektra killed Stick, but Matt hadn’t talked about him much.

“I’m sorry about Stick,” Karen said softly. “You never told me much about him.”

Matt turned back toward her, wiping away a tear. He cleared his throat. “Stick…it was…complicated. In some ways, he was like a father to me, but he abandoned me..and then he just came back here, telling me I needed to join him in his war, like it didn’t matter that he left me before. And now…now he’s gone…and I…I guess I don’t really know how I feel. I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

Karen leaned forward and gave Matt a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

They stayed there, holding each other for several moments before Matt pulled away.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“Do you want a beer?” Karen asked.

Matt gave a small smile. “Yeah, I could definitely use a drink.”

Karen got two beers out of the fridge and handed one to Matt. They drank in silence for a few minutes. Then Karen turned on the news.

“Wilson Fisk has filed an appeal…” the news anchor began. Karen took another big swig of her beer as they went to a reporter, who discussed the chances of Wilson Fisk being set free.

“All of my sources say he’s getting out,” Karen said grimly.

“Not if we can help it,” Matt said. “And if he does get out, we’ll put him right back in there again.”

Karen nodded, wishing she could feel as confident as Matt sounded.

“So you’ll definitely talk to Foggy tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I will. I just hope he’ll forgive me.”

“He will.”

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Karen waited out by the pier for Brett Mahoney to arrive. He had been one of her most trusted sources since she had started as a reporter for the Bulletin.

She stared out at the water, thinking about how much her life had changed recently. Less than two weeks ago, she had thought Matt was dead. She had felt completely alone in her investigation of Fisk. Now she and Matt were working together, and hopefully Foggy would be helping soon, too.

Brett pulled up and got out of the car.

“Hey, Karen,” he said somberly.

“Hey, Brett. So, it looks like Fisk is getting out.”

Brett sighed. “Yeah, I don’t think there’s any chance he isn’t. I’m starting to suspect he might own a few cops again, too.”

“Really? Do you have any idea who?”

Brett shook his head. “I have a couple of suspicions, but I won’t tell you until I know more. What would you do with that information anyway? You can’t print it if we don’t have proof.”

“No, but it would still be useful,” Karen said, thinking that Daredevil would still be able to make some use out of it.

“You know, there seems to be another vigilante operating in Hell’s Kitchen,” Brett said. “Or maybe an old one who we thought was dead. Do you know anything about that?”

Karen shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s always new vigilantes popping up.”

“You know, Karen, you’re supposed to be helping me with information, too. This isn't a one-way street.”

“I’ll let you know when I know more,” Karen said.

“Yeah, sure,” Brett said skeptically. “Take care of yourself, Karen.”

“You too, Brett.”

When Karen got back to the Bulletin office, she learned why Brett had asked her about the new vigilante. Apparently Matt had been pretty busy last night and had saved several people from a bar fire. The people had mentioned that “a man in black” had saved them.

“You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, Karen?” Ellison asked as he walked into her office.

“What, am I the official vigilante reporter now?”

“Pretty much, yeah. I ought to just make it an official beat.”

“Well, Brett mentioned something about him today. I’ll look into it.”

Ellison gave her a similar skeptical look to the one Brett had given her earlier but nodded and walked out of the office.

Karen’s phone rang. Matt. She had gotten him a cheap phone since he didn’t exactly have any money to buy one without a job.

“Hey,” Karen said as she answered.

“Hey, Karen. Are you busy?”

“I have a few minutes. So, did you tell him?”

“Yeah, I told Foggy I was alive. He was upset I didn’t tell him earlier, but I’m glad you talked me into telling him. Foggy was hoping we could both go over to his apartment later. Marci will be there, too.”

“I’m so glad you told him, Matt. We won’t be able to talk too openly in front of Marci, though.”

“Well, apparently Foggy told her everything.”

“Oh.” Karen was surprised that Foggy had told Marci Matt’s secret, but she supposed she shouldn’t be. After all, Foggy and Marci had been getting pretty serious, and it would just be hard for Foggy to keep that from her. Plus, he thought Matt was dead. Still, the list of people who knew Matt was Daredevil was getting longer, and Karen was a little concerned about that.

“So, I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah, it will be nice to all hang out together again.”

“Yeah it will be.”

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. As Karen was heading home to change, she decided to buy a bottle of wine to bring over to Foggy’s. Even if they were going to be talking about Fisk, in some ways, it still seemed like it should be a celebration. After all, Matt was alive, and they were all finally going to be back together again.

As Karen walked into Foggy’s building, she marveled at how nice it was. It even had a nice lobby and a doorman. He had really moved up from the apartment he had when he was working at Nelson and Murdock. Was this nice place worth the kinds of cases he had to take now, though?

Foggy and Marci answered the door together.

“Oh, thank you for bringing this wine, Karen,” Marci said.

The inside of Foggy’s apartment was nice, too. Marci seemed very at home there. Karen hadn’t seen Foggy and Marci together that much, but it was clear from all the little gestures how in love they were.

Karen and Foggy walked toward the living room while Marci brought the wine to the kitchen.

“How long have you two been together now?” Karen asked.

“About a year and a half,” Foggy said as they sat down. “And now we’re going to be moving in together.”

“Aw, so you’re really doing it, huh? You going to be popping the question soon?”

Foggy smiled. “Not yet. We’ll see how this living together thing goes first. If it goes well…”

“I’m glad you and Marci are happy,” Karen said. “So…are you mad at me for not telling you that Matt was alive?”

Foggy shook his head. “It would be pretty hard for me to be angry at you considering how long I kept Matt’s vigilante secret from you. I still can’t believe he’s really alive.”

“I know,” Karen said. “We’re all back together again.”

Foggy looked like he was about to say something, but there was a knock on the door, and a few moments later, Karen could hear Marci greeting Matt.

Karen and Foggy got up and walked over.

“You have a really nice place, Foggy,” Matt said.

“Yeah, I have to say, it’s pretty nice,” Foggy said. “But it’s going to go harder to afford pretty soon.”

Karen raised an eyebrow. “Why is that?”

“I’m leaving Hogarth’s form,” Foggy said. “Starting my own practice. I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Karen looked over at Matt. He didn’t look surprised. Karen figured Foggy must have already told Matt. She wondered if there was any chance they could reopen Nelson and Murdock once Matt’s return was public.

“Wow,” Karen said. “Are you going to get your own office?”

“Probably,” Foggy said. “I won’t need anyplace too big. Marci is staying at Hogarth’s firm.”

“Somebody’s got to pay the bills,” Marci said. “Foggy never really liked corporate law, though.”

Karen saw the bottle opener on the counter and went over to open the bottle of wine she had brought. She poured a little wine in four glasses and handed them out.

“I think this deserves a toast,” Karen said. “To new beginnings.”

“To new beginnings,” they all said, clanging glasses.

“Well, you two can sit down,” Foggy said. “Marci and I are almost done getting dinner ready.”

Karen and Matt sat down on the couch.

“So, with Foggy leaving Hogarth’s firm, do you think there’s a chance for Nelson and Murdock to make a comeback, you know, once people know you’re back?”

Matt gave a small smile. “I would love that, but it’s up to Foggy. I don’t know if he will ever trust me to be his partner again.”

Karen put a hand on Matt’s arm. “I think he will. Just give him some time. He just got you back.”

Matt nodded. “I hope so.”

Matt and Karen sat there in silence for a few moments. Sitting here with Matt brought Karen back to the times they were sitting together, talking, flirting, kissing…Karen realized her hand was still on his arm and blushed. She quickly removed it.

“I’m going to see if Foggy and Marci need a hand with dinner,” Karen said, getting up.

“Right,” Matt said. “I’ll do that too.”

As they walked over, though, Foggy and Marci were already heading over to the table with the plates.

“Dinner is served,” Foggy said.

Everybody focused on eating for awhile. Foggy and Marci had made ravioli and a salad.

“Save room for dessert,” Marci said. “My berry cobbler is, frankly, amazing.”

Foggy smiled. “She isn’t kidding. It really is.”

“The ravioli is delicious,” Karen said.

“It is,” Matt said. “How much of the cooking did you do, Foggy? I remember back in college, ramen noodles were about the limit for you.”

“I did a pretty significant amount of the work on this meal, thank you very much,” Foggy said.

“A good 30 to 40 percent, I would say,” Marci said.

“And the ramen noodles were because we were broke,” Foggy said.

“Good point,” Matt said.

“So, we should probably talk about what we should do about Fisk,” Karen said.

They discussed the information that Karen and Matt had gathered, and Foggy and Marci said they were going to see what they could find out through their legal contacts.

“I have to admit, the odds of Fisk staying in prison aren’t very good,” Foggy said. “But you know what? If he gets out, we’ll put him right back in there, this time for good.”

“Yes, we will,” Karen and Matt said at the same time.

“We’re together again,” Karen said. “That’s what matters.”

As they finished their dinner, Karen was feeling hopeful in spite of her worries about Fisk. As long as they were working together, they would find a way.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. Thank you for reading!

Karen stared at her screen, trying to focus on the story she was supposed to be writing about a robbery that had occurred the night before.

But as far as she knew, that robbery had nothing to do with Fisk, and how was she supposed to focus on anything else now that Fisk was about to get out of prison?

Karen turned up the volume on the news as they talked about Fisk’s imminent release. She wasn’t sure why she was torturing herself like this. She already knew everything they were going to say.

Karen’s phone rang, and she picked it up gratefully, happy for the distraction. It was Foggy.

“So I know this isn’t Friday, but I think we could all use a trip to Josie’s tonight.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Is Matt coming?”

“Yeah. For awhile, at least,” Foggy said. “It’ll be like old times.”

“Complete with something miserable on the news. We can listen to Fisk talk about how innocent he was. Just a big mistake.”

“Yeah, that really sucks, but at least we can drink and console each other.”

“Alcohol helps, but being with good friends helps more,” Karen said. “I’ll see you guys later.”

The day crawled by as Karen continued to worry about what Fisk might do. But at least now she wouldn’t be alone.

Once she was done with work, she headed straight to Josie’s. There was something so comforting about this place. And somehow, it never changed. There was Josie behind the counter, pointing to the “cash only” sign when someone tried to take out a credit card, the pool table, and some of the regulars who had been there the first night she had gone to Josie’s with Foggy. That felt like such a long time ago.

A few of the regulars even said hello as Karen walked in. She was the first one there, so she ordered a beer and grabbed a table.

Karen sat there, drinking her beer and thinking about old memories and worries.

“Brings back a lot of memories, doesn’t it?”

Karen jumped. She had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t noticed Matt’s arrival.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Matt said as he sat down.

Karen shook her head and pushed her hair back. “It’s okay. Just have a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah, same here,” Matt said.

“Wow, can you remember he last time the three of us were here together?” Foggy said as he walked up to the table. “It seems like it was ages ago.”

“Well, it’s been a few years,” Karen said. “That was the night Frank was captured, right?”

That was also the night of Karen and Matt’s first kiss. She felt her cheeks turning pink just thinking about it.

“Yeah, and now we’re finally back here, and Fisk is back in prison,” Matt said bitterly, taking a swig of beer.

“Well, at least this time, most people know what an asshole he is, right?” Foggy said.

Karen nodded. “Yeah, that’s something, at least.”

Matt, Karen, and Foggy watched the news on Fisk for awhile, but eventually they told Josie to change the channel and switched to a different subject of conversation to get their minds off Fisk for at least a few minutes.

“Remember that time Foggy ordered a party sub and didn’t realize how big it was? How long were we eating that thing?”

“Four days. But it went well with Mrs. Henderson’s apple pie.”

“It’s nice being back here, isn’t it? Even if it’s just to get drunk because that dickhead got out of prison. And we worked so hard to put him in there.”

“Yeah, it’s really frustrating,” Karen said. “And scary. Thinking about what might happen.”

“We’ll put that bastard back in prison where he belongs,” Matt said.

“Well, whatever happens, no matter what he tries to do, we’ll get through it together,” Foggy said. He raised his beer bottle. “To us.”

“To us,” Matt and Karen said, clanking glasses.

After a couple more drinks, they headed out. The snow has changed from flurries into a steady snow.

“Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Foggy said. “And every day until we put Fisk away again.”

“And every day after that just because we want to hang out together,” Karen said. “Or, you know, almost every day. At least a few times a week.”

Foggy and Matt both smiled.

“Definitely,” Foggy said, waving at them as he got into a cab.

“I’ve really missed this,” Matt said, “these evenings at Josie’s with you and Foggy.”

Karen smiled. “I have too.”

“Can I walk you home?” Matt asked a little nervously. “If you don’t mind walking in the snow.”

“Sure, I would like that,” Karen said, taking Matt’s hand.

He smiled, and they walked through the snow toward her apartment.

A couple of the stores they walked past were playing Christmas music.

“I love this time of year,” Karen said.

“I do, too,” Matt said.

Karen looked at all the Christmas lights as they walked. With all this Christmas cheer everywhere, it was hard to imagine that they might have to deal with terrible things from Fisk in the not-so-distant future.

As Karen walked through the snow with Matt, though, she couldn’t help but think that everything was going to be okay, somehow.

They stopped in front of Karen’s apartment building.

“Somehow the walk over here always goes too fast,” Karen said.

“Yeah, it does,” Matt said. “You know, tonight was really great, the three of us out together again.”

Karen smiled. “Yeah, it was.”

They both just stood there quietly for a few moments, the snow falling steadily on and around them. A particularly big snowflake landed on Karen’s nose. Matt leaned forward and brushed it off. Karen felt her cheeks turning pink.

“You know, the snow is almost deep enough for us to make snow angels,” Karen said. “Or maybe snow devils.”

Matt laughed. It was a beautiful sound, and Karen always loved the crinkles he got around his eyes. She hoped that she would get to hear that sound more often.

“So…Karen, do you think…” Matt hesitated, apparently unsure if he should go on.

“Do I think what?” Karen asked.

“Do you think that…sometime, in the future, you would be willing to give me another chance? I know I haven’t earned it…”

Karen leaned forward impulsively and brushed her lips against his. Then they stood there a few moments, their foreheads touching. Matt stroked Karen’s cheek.

“Yeah, I do,” Karen said, smiling. “As long as we take it slow, and promise to be open and honest with each other from now on.”

Matt smiled. “Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise the lies are over. This can be a fresh start.”

“A fresh start,” Karen agreed, taking Matt’s hands.

Karen wasn’t sure what would happen, but whatever the future held, they would get through it together.


End file.
